47 Things That Never Happen on Star Trek

Do you have creative writing skills?? Think you can charm the masses with a story or two?? Perhaps you can create a mini-toon based on Armada. Then give it a go right here.

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Elrond
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Post by Elrond » Tue Jun 07, 2005 1:24 am

130. The Borg assimilate themselves. special6.gif

131. Tupac Shakurus of Borg on Star Trek. "Hey b***** resistance is futile an' all that shiznizzle! Yo cultures an' stuff will be all up in there. Resistance is furshizzle futizizzle."

132. Dracula-utus of Borg on Star Trek. "I will suck your blood...resistance is futile."

133. Paris Hilton on Star Trek. "Oh my God, these Star uniform things are so low-class and geeky."
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Post by JEDI3112 » Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:43 am

134 An Imperial Stardestroyer comes out of Hyperspace
135 The same ISD opens a comm link with the enterprise
136 The Enterprise asks if the ISD wasn't supposed to be in Star Wars
137 The ISD answers they thought this was the Lucasfilms studio
138 The Enterprise gives directions to where the Lucasfilms studio is
139 Somebody carries a lightsaber
140 And this happens (I also placed this on elsewhere)

Presses button to ignite saber
Saber doesn't ignite
Presses button repeatedly, while shaking the saber
Saber still doesn't ignite
Looks into saber while still pressing the button and shaking the saber
Saber ignites while still looking into the saber

141 They use the replicators to create weapons
142 They use normal guns against the Borg (Holodeck doesn't count, they have to be real and used throughout the ship)
143 Instead of wielding a Klingon melee weapon the human main character wields an earth melee weapon like an axe or a sword
144 They land on a planet where due to radiation and other stuff fasers don't work, but fortunatly they have gunpowder based weapons as well
145 There is a distress call and the Enterprise doesn't abandon it's mission due to the importance of the mission
146 Picard tells Worf to fire the weapons and Worf responds with 'I already did'
147 A Redshirt decides to wear white armor thinking it will increase his chances of survival (he probably hasn't seen Star Wars)
148 When beaming down to investigate a forest planet they wear camouflage
149 A main character throws himself in front of fire to save a redshirt
150 A redshirt wears green clothing and therefor survives the mission

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Post by Twitch » Thu Jun 16, 2005 12:39 pm

151. They never intercept a cargo vessel full of vibrators in the Romulan neutral zone.
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Post by JPKTrekker » Thu Jun 16, 2005 12:44 pm

Twitch wrote:151. They never intercept a cargo vessel full of vibrators in the Romulan neutral zone.
I only have one thing to say to that: "No comment".
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Post by blindeye01 » Thu Jun 16, 2005 6:03 pm

152. There are German accented characters
Last edited by blindeye01 on Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by JPKTrekker » Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:51 pm

153. A Tholian joins Starfleet Academy.
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Post by blindeye01 » Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:53 pm

154. Real physics apply
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Post by Elrond » Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:53 pm

154. There are no British accented characters (ie Picard, Troi, etc).
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Post by Corbomite_Ray » Thu Jun 16, 2005 9:55 pm

155. Nobody experiences a moral crisis
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Post by JPKTrekker » Fri Jun 17, 2005 1:56 am

156. A major planet gets destroyed.
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Post by Corbomite_Ray » Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:04 am

157. The captain dies.
158. The word "quantum" is not mentioned once throughout the entire episode.
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Post by JPKTrekker » Fri Jun 17, 2005 3:07 am

158. People from the Mirror Universe's Terran Empire are actually the good guys.
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Post by blindeye01 » Fri Jun 17, 2005 8:05 am

159. The battle is no contest for the hero
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Post by JEDI3112 » Fri Jun 17, 2005 8:44 am

Twitch wrote:151. They never intercept a cargo vessel full of vibrators in the Romulan neutral zone.
Maybe they should look for them in the Romulan erogene zone :lol:

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Post by Twitch » Thu Jun 30, 2005 1:39 pm

160. The Borg assimilate Linda "Deep Throat" Lovelace and then go about "assimilating" other races. "Oh YES! Assimilate me.

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