47 Things That Never Happen on Star Trek

Do you have creative writing skills?? Think you can charm the masses with a story or two?? Perhaps you can create a mini-toon based on Armada. Then give it a go right here.

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MajorPayne
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Post by MajorPayne » Fri Jun 03, 2005 2:58 am

I'm not saying don't post anything already posted on other sites. Just give some thought to crediting those who have already done the work.

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Post by Twitch » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:14 am

69. No one ever says "Captain, your zipper is open."
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Post by JPKTrekker » Fri Jun 03, 2005 11:17 am

MajorPayne wrote:I'm not saying don't post anything already posted on other sites. Just give some thought to crediting those who have already done the work.
Understood.
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blindeye01
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Post by blindeye01 » Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:25 pm

70. Captain, the other button.
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Post by jolt » Sat Jun 04, 2005 8:16 am

71: The ship is set to self destruct and actually does.
72: They have a bridge crew that is actually totally random and not familliar.
73: In a battle, the phasers don't go down to 4%.
74: The small and plucky hero dies.
75: The bridge crew die and it isn't a possible future timeline, its the real one.
76: You have a cameo appearance by a special guest star who is the captain.
77: Ships have bumper stickers.
78: The captain is actually right about something for once.
79: A mid-space collision occurs and both parties swap insurance.
80: They wander into a nebula that contains nothing but gases.
81: A cloak actually works.
82: The bridge crew have a bet as to what will happen in that episode.
83: The captain comes onto the bridge, nobody stands up and he orders them to do a lap around the saucer section.
84: The captain is court-marshelled for not following the prime directive.
85: The flagship spontaneously combusts.
86: Weapons fire causes some dents on the Enterprise and it has to go to a "Quick-Fit" for a paint job.
87: A distress call can be heard clearly.
88: A sensor probe answers all the questions.
89: An inter-stellar race between various parties ensues and the Federation come last.
90: A sabotuer damages the Enterprise and it turns out to be the captain playing a practical joke.
91: Musac is played through the speakers whilst waiting to be connected to another ship.
92: Guinan says something to Picard and he proves her wrong.
93: The Borg say something different then say "Only joking! Prepare to be..."
94: The slim chances predicted of success prove to be that, slim, and the ship ends up being destroyed.
95: Data's head accidentally falls off in a maintanence check and has to be sent back to Starfleet HQ for spare parts refitting.
96: They find another creation that Dr. Soong has created that doesn't have a stupid name.
97: The Federation accidentally translate something wrong and they attack a race that actually wanted to be friends.
98: "Q Night" where Q comes into Ten Forward and enlightens the crew with a few remedies.
99: Q does something nice.
100: The mute button doesn't work in a comms chat.
101: The USS Indistructable-A joins the Enterprise's fleet.

*These have all been taken from my brain and any that happen to be like any others be it already on this thrread or otherwise were not intentionally stolen.*

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Post by JPKTrekker » Sat Jun 04, 2005 11:29 am

jolt wrote:71: The ship is set to self destruct and actually does.
Hate to break it to you, Jolt. They did that in "Star Trek III: The Search For Spock" with the original Enterprise.
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blindeye01
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Post by blindeye01 » Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:09 pm

jolt wrote: 74: The small and plucky hero dies.
81: A cloak actually works.
96: They find another creation that Dr. Soong has created that doesn't have a stupid name.
74. ****Censored by Blindeye01 due to Spoiler Alert Status****

81. Schinzon's cloak is perfect, they have to shoot randomly to hit it.

96. B4 - its not stupid.
Last edited by blindeye01 on Sat Jun 04, 2005 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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jolt
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Post by jolt » Sat Jun 04, 2005 5:38 pm

Shinzon's...well...it was a special cloak lol, I dunno, it sounded right at the time.

B4...yes it is. Right, let's have a look at this. B4, phoenetically its pronounded Be-four, which also reads as before. B4 was made before Data suposedly, hence Picard's joke when he calls himself B4 and Picard says along the lines of "Well it seem's Dr. Soong still had a fascination with whimsical names" (along the lines of). Data, well, its supposed to represent something of vast ...well, you know what Data does lol and Lore, that's read as Law, as in, trying to keep or uphold the law, hence it being silly.

Ok, all of them I can understand doing a few msitakes but geez, gimme some credit lol.
Last edited by jolt on Sun Jun 05, 2005 4:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

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blindeye01
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Post by blindeye01 » Sat Jun 04, 2005 5:58 pm

I thought the whimsical quote was sarcasm about the barcodish name.
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Post by jolt » Sun Jun 05, 2005 4:42 am

Thanks for asterxing that out :)

The barcode thing, well, that was part of the joke, but, it seems to fint in with the silly names.

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Post by JPKTrekker » Sun Jun 05, 2005 1:46 pm

102. The Klingons make peace and not war.
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blindeye01
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Post by blindeye01 » Sun Jun 05, 2005 1:57 pm

103. A Romulan hugs a Vulcan.
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Post by JPKTrekker » Sun Jun 05, 2005 4:09 pm

104. A Vulcan forgets to be logical.
105. The Enterprise encounters the Peace Keepers.
106. The Federation doesn't go to war.
107. A ship other than the hero ship of the series saves the universe.
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blindeye01
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Post by blindeye01 » Sun Jun 05, 2005 4:21 pm

108. A gamble doesn't pay off for the hero.
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Post by jolt » Mon Jun 06, 2005 12:52 pm

109: A Vulcan says "supercalifrajolisticexpealidocious".

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